Although it was 10 years ago now.. I still remember the time I enlisted in the US Army. I still remember the excitement I felt about being a part of something. I remember the joy I felt that I would be living with a purpose and my life would be going somewhere.. Forget the fact that I just joined ministry, this was about me getting rid of this outspokenness I had, paying for college, getting in a new environment to minister to others in a very valuable effective way and fight for my country and be honorable.
This feeling did not last long, because pretty soon, I realized I had more boundaries than I had ever had in my entire life.. I thought my parents were big on boundaries, No, they weren’t compared to this, because I went in as a spoiled little brat and I got more things my way than I honestly thought at that time..
When I left for Forth Sill Oklahoma, from the time I got off that bus in the middle of no where my life would be changing. I was now no longer on my own schedule, I was not on my own time.. everything I did, everywhere I went was monitored by someone else who had bigger and better plans for me.. they controlled when I slept, when I ate, when I had free time, what i did.. They pretty much had complete control of my life. I mean I could control what I said to the other Privates and most of all what I said to my superiors.. For some reason they were not as hard on me as they were on the others, they rarely ever yelled at me.. it was the stress of it all.. Having to be on someone else’s watch just really drove me crazy, watching them “mistreat” the other privates really made me sad.. The PT’s early in the morning when I would have done anything to sleep in late.. I literally did not have a choice..I had to do what they told me to do, or else I would be not only getting myself in trouble, it was about everyone I was there with.. We were…”An Army of One” How attractive the sound in the beginning, but when you know if another private disobeyed or did not act accordingly you would be getting in trouble too because of them it made a world of difference..
Had I known then what I know now I know my life would be different. They had to teach me how to live a different lifestyle because if I went into combat the way I was when I walked off that bus and I had not been hardened by having someone yell at me who was of my own people.. then how would I ever be able to handle someone yelling at me in a mean way who was not of my people.. I would cave in because I would want them to leave me alone… right now..
I think this was definitely necessary at this stage in my life, 10 years later because I know the power in boundaries and following directions and doing something for someone else..
My little children… Sometimes I call them my little soldiers.. They are warriors.. It is my job to raise them up.. they are indeed very wet behind the ears, as a matter of fact they know nothing.. Absolutely NOTHING! I start from scratch with them, either I will teach them how to be affective when they get out there in the world through constant disciplining them.. or I can just let them run wild and make of their lives what they want. My parents were not military parents, what I mean by that is, for me growing up there was not a lot of structure.. There was not a lot of things that would cause me to have a lot of discipline to do things that are beneficial to the society.. but there were some.. However in my own right sometimes I wish I could be a military mom and I could have the military mindset as I’m listening to my husband.. Would it make a difference.. If I had become more disciplined, more mindful of the fact that when life is lived on a mission I don’t have to be in the military to know that I will have to deal with things in life and either they will overtake me or I will overcome them.. I am determined to overcome!