This evening, honestly I had no idea would turn out the way it did.. Earlier today I wanted to process some negative emotions I had, instead I sat to crochet and I began to simply pray the scripture to God while speaking it to myself.. I went and had a short nap there with my husband and this was after we returned from all the libraries today.. We had been out having a good free day.. Since we had sent them to the ASI center last night, we did not want to spend again tonight to send them away, see we would find ourselves having to do that every night for the next 15 years.. I think to myself.. It’s time to enjoy life as I sit in the car praying to myself..
“Lord, you are good, you are great, you are awesome, you are worthy, you have nothing but good plans and thoughts for me and you mean my good in all things and no harm, you love me and you mean to make me better and not bitter” I began to call out to Him that He has a plan for me that’s worth not griping or complaining or being grumpy or upset about.. And we went into the mall and I really felt the burn when I got that Thirsty’s drink I wanted and I could not enjoy it how I wanted because I had kids who were constantly asking for it .
My first thought from the flesh was to be bitter.. and you know of course as always first natural then spiritual.. I gave them the drink freely once we got home.. and it was not a bad thing, because I concluded to myself, I did not need it anyway!
When I had got up, I realized I needed to get another ingredient or something for the meal I had to cook for dinner, I took a break last night on cooking and swiped it from Aaron’s pocket that time.. About time.. I am normally the one buying out for the family on the nights I refuse to cook.. But this time I was able to get a “free” night on Aaron and it was not a bad night, it was almost just like as if they had slept at Granny’s but not quite so much.. I became thankful that I had the opportunity to buy a new exercise game and that Aaron and I had moved the living room around and now he had said he would give me a break to go grocer shopping while he took our babies to the park.. That was a real blessing..LOL!
I text him the entire time just telling him how sexy he is and how we need to have more sex and this and that and how I appreciate him and how we need to move out to the country where things have a much slower pace and there’s not so much traffic and people in walmart all the time..LOL! Well, it was amazing what a simply little conversation through writing on a phone could do!
By the time I got home I had cut on the little music on the computer and I looked at my bank account and was wow’d I was thinking to myself.. It looks so much different than usual, see usually as soon as we get a little money, we throw it all out on a trip to somewhere for one week, while when we get back we are normally more frustrated than when we left.. and ready to be home because we just wasted so much money and gained so much weight.
I thought to myself, in the still and the quiet as I cooked and cleaned…
“Lord, look at me.. I am a testimony, who would have thought I would be here now.. The married woman with the children, who is able to stay home with her little one’s and actually rear them.. How blessed and I.. that I choose to complain so often”
I was getting in the bath after Aaron and I had set to eat my famous chili and I thought as I sat in the nice warm water, just the way I like it and big, and tall just like a pool.. As I sat down… I said.. Thank you Lord.. quietly, sweetly, from my heart, genuinely.. A moment of silence and nothing else had come upon me. Of course it was not long before Aniah came in and I was giving her a bath.. But for that moment, I thought of some of the good things my parents had taught me and there, right there, then I thought to myself.. My God you gave me those parents to teach me these things, and all this time I have zeroed in on the other things.. As I dressed my precious little girl, I realized God had been so gracious to replace the time I loss with my first born this way and I could never complain about an answered prayer.. My God.. My heart melts when I think of it.. My life is one big Eucharisteo, and here it is I complain all the time..
Scripture for 15-30 is Ephesian 6:18 will get into it tomorrow in more debt!