I know you have had a moment like this before and if you haven’t I believe you will.. Keep on living!
Yesterday was an awesome day, after I had a couple of anger bouts… LOL! I went for an evening walk with my sweet husband in the park, and was grateful we had that bonding time..
I also needed the exercise!
When I got home I did some Wii Fit Plus.. just a few minutes.. You know I have to keep active.
When I went to bed last night I was having some thing I could not rightly classify; Shortness of breath or just gas I am not a health care professional yet so I can not diagnose for myself. But there was a difficulty taking a whole breath, somehow with laying on my back I got through the whole night. This morning when I woke up I was a little afraid because I could still feel fragments of it, which meant it had not completely passed. When I had told my husband he took off work immediately to be there for me. I felt like those people who have those heart attacks and not know it because at this point I had pain shooting across the shoulders of my right arm.
Come on.. I am 30 years old I can be honest about that… I am not supposed to be experiencing this kind of mess, I am active and I try to keep myself healthy, what could possibly be the cause of something like this happening. My husband kept urging me to go to the doctor but I kept thinking, if I did all that to keep myself healthy and this still happens it must be my time..
You know every now and then you have those thoughts, but I was peaceful about it. I did not want to even think about it.. But I couldn’t help but think about my preschoolers, I thought to myself, I would never see them smile again if I were not here, I would not be able to watch them grow up and that would be a great reward for me too.. You see the whole time I was saying; “I’m ready, Lord you can take me whenever you want” I made sport of this little life as nothing and made it as if I were only living ready each day to see the next. But as I became more and more aware that that time could approach any second of any hour it made me more cautious of how I am spending it.. Had I even half way enjoyed my husband the way God meant for me to? How many days had I spent complaining instead of rejoicing for my health and strength, letting stressful situations get the best of me.. I could not count the times I had gotten ticked off with my children and thought in my mind.. “Lord why did I decide to have children” I cursed all those days at that moment and wished I could have lived every moment to the fullest.. I had planned this great vacation next month and now what if God decided to take me home before I ever got to see it… Would that be a sad or joyous occasion for me…. not my family!
When life flashes always remember if you are in God’s perfect will He has a plan for greater than you so you can rest assured everything will be alright.
I am still here so obviously He saw fit to give me another day and I am thankful!