Not so fast!

Well, This year was that year.. I mentioned it was the year I was able to get my weight down into a healthy range and actually manage it there.. What a blessing! I want to just take my hat off to myself and pat myself on the back but I know it is not that simple.

There is always a war raging within. Today I struggled, after eating 2 pancakes and eggs for breakfast, and eating a subway sandwich for lunch I had a struggle really strong for an oreo cookie shake. I mean there’s always that battle within. To eat that extra piece of cake, bite that extra piece of chicken. Just look up temptation is all around and while I want to just sit down, take a chill pill and relax, because today the weight looks ok.. I must learn to always be on guard and take heed to the fact that I could only be weeks away from being overweight again, if I do not maintain discretion on what I am putting into my body.
we all know some big stuff happens this time of the year.. My daughter will be turning 4 tomorrow and well, I have my glorious 31st next saturday.. yes! Please send me a gift.. Thank you!

I look forward to celebrating, but you know what it almost always includes, food.. Tomorrow it will be pizza, pasta and cake, but you know what Next Saturday it’s going to be eating at a restaurant, treating myself to my favorite meal, being prepared is always key because I will indulge in a “mudslide” without a doubt!

Well, when I think of all this, I contemplate a gospel singer who died in New Orleans in October of 1998, not long after my daughter was born I started listening to his music and well, I thought he was an incredible gospel singer his music was real and it touched my heart, but he was killed 3 months after my daughter was born and I had not even known it, I had not heard of him until around the exact time he was killed, in a car jacking … I heard rumors immediately that it was a lovers spat, and he was gay and well, it all sounded credible at the time, I mean I looked at the man’s cd cover and he wore a jeri curl and he was dressed with all this gold dangling and well, he sang with a little hoop.. I began to think.. How could some one with such an anointing do something like that.. didn’t he know that being gay was against the will and plan of God. But there are always struggle…. We choose each day what we will feed and what we will starve.. We all wrestle like Jacob and Israel with 2 people inside our one body. The one side of me wants to overindulge all the time that I am denying myself the urge to stuff myself.. the other side wants to be fit and trim and look good in my new pair of jeans and church clothes.. that cover all my body by the way.. I don’t want a healthy weight to show off my body, i want a healthy weight for one singular reason… To Be Healthy!

My  struggle although some may not think it can be compared to that of the late great “Raymond Myles” is just as intense. It’s all speculation now, the man was killed and he was not known nation wide, or internationally.. he was just a New Orleans gospel legend who left a mark, but when we leave a mark with no blemishes is when we make the most difference.. Who will I feed and who will I starve!


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