Finding peace with where I am

Today, is a very good day… “It’s a good morning” mom used to say…”Because I woke up!”

I loved her for that! There were some times for her it was a pain filled morning, she had awakened to a body wracked with pain and well, she still called it a “Good Morning”.. Although I remembered a time when I would say: “Good Morning” and she would say to me…”What’s so good about it?” I would laugh it off!

So many times in life we want to be where we are not and we make every effort humanly possible to get there, we do things out of time and in the end we hurt ourselves and wind up only wishing we were back where we started..
That’s what we do right? We look back at the good old days all the time!
Well, the truth is those days have passed and if your lucky we’ll never see them again.. Because we have to accept that this is better and I have peace with it, because that was then and this is now!

I was a completely different person the year my oldest daughter was taken away from me..

I was a completely different woman the year I got married to my husband..

I was a completely different woman 1 year ago.

Yet I still watch people come and they go, and I watch their successes and I watch their failures. I watch people at breakneck speed running to reach a mark that when they arrive they only realize it was not all it was cracked up to be anyway!
Truth: I want to have Angel back. Fact: She’s 13 and I haven’t had her since she was 8 months old in my custody.. Yet even though my reality is completely opposing to what I believe I have peace because I choose to believe anyway, that one of these days we will have a great relationship.
Truth: I am a mother of 3, who is also a wife and a stay at home mom. Fact: I wanted to be finished with college by now and I have 66 college credits with no degree.. The reality is, I want to be the best mother I can be to my children because I prioritize them and I trust that when the time has fully come and it is right it will be no hassle for me to go back to school and get my HealthCare Administration Degree.. Yes I believe that!
I have peace with where I am, because I know I won’t be here always, but more than that.. I look forward to something greater than where I’ve come from and where I am right now.. I’ve seen too many people pass up too many great moments, waiting to live their lives in another moment and I have decided I do not want that to be me.. So then I make peace with God, myself,My life and all that it could be, leaving it in the hands of someone greater making plans to be better next year this time around.. while trusting Him having peace with where I am!

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