Whatever I find myself faced with in this life, I am convinced I can handle it! Whatever I have to go through good or bad, I still don’t have reasons to complain, instead I have more to be thankful for than not.
I found out that my sweet oldest daughter would be needing a liver transplant yesterday… talk about heart broken, shattered.. not only because she needed it but because I was not there with her.. Shattered because she could have possibly wanted me to be there but because of who she’s under she could not.. want me rightly as her mama to be there.. This is one of those things… She is ill and I can not reach out to her, and rush to her rescue because I have not been welcomed awhile..
But Can I handle it!
I rest assured in my faith. I can do all things through Christ that gives me strength. Sometimes it’s far easier to give up and just say, whatever, if it was meant it would be different, and it’s another story to fight and say not only am I going to keep my sanity, but I am going to keep reaching for her and whenever she needs me I will be there..
I respect anyone’s wishes who does not want me to be apart of their lives, as I understand it is true I have made mistakes I can never go back and undo. I still make mistakes all the time, but the truth is.. Whatever I am facing is for something for greater than myself. It’s going to work for my good in the end. although the pain may feel excruciating right now and I feel like the only place I can turn that can really understand is to the Lord in prayer.. I am still here and as long as she is still alive I believe her father can change, my circumstance can change, her step mother can change and even her grandmother.. I trust that no matter what if the situation was placed before me it only means someone bigger thought I was in a position to handle it! I believe I’ll run on and see what the end will be !