Today one of the most interesting things happened!
I was walking to pick up my kindergartner from school. When his sister and I headed home, he on his scooter and she on her bike, me being on foot.. I realized something, even though I had not had a problem with my daughter who is the youngest stopping at the streets, with my son, my only son, it was a problem.. Let’s get this out of the way… I want them to stop at the corners so that they don’t dart out into the streets and get hit.. cars come so fast, we had this same problem yesterday actually.. My son got to a place he would be out of my sight in and it sounded as if he asked me if he could go further and I say no.. He continued on anyway.. He even went out into the street.. With Traffic… without even thinking to ask, needless to say, I was furious! I mean Furious with a capital F!
Today, we are walking home from school and they are all riding…The little girl rides closest to me to make sure she is not crossing any boundaries.. but the boy.. ventures out into uncharted territory where it’s harder for me to reach him if something went wrong!
He got to the corner and turned to look back at me and asked.. Can I go! This time being conscious that maybe yesterday he did not hear me or pay attention I was shaking my head No! I said …. NO! Out loud.. Would you believe that child proceeded to ride his scooter as if I had not just told him to stay in position.. I could not even express the Anger I felt today.. I wanted to stop right there in the street and whip him.. And I was not whipping him because it made me feel good either it was because right at the next corner there was a car coming who was waiting… In case he would have darted out into that street too.. I immediately yelled to him.. “YOUR GETTING IT WHEN YOU GET HOME BUDDY!”
He knew it was on then..
As we continued to walk I thought to myself how much had I been that way.. This past week was the last week to register for school and I honestly had to get it done.. Last minute and all.. My sweet hubby gave me the orders, either I was going to work or go to school, but there would be no more stay at home mommying specially after the youngest starts kindergarten.. So I had better be ready for the transition and that means starting now.. Well, I thought to ask God, since after all I did not create myself, but I live in a greater purpose and plan not my own but my creators who created me with identity only found in His will.. I asked him.. I was just like Benjamin standing at the street.. Waiting for the right of way.. Waiting for God to say it’s ok! After all why wouldn’t God say it’s okay to go to school, after all that was my choice.. If I had to choose between work and school, I would choose to finish school then do work.. But this was not what God had in mind.. I wanted to wait for Him to give me the right of way, but time was passing and my window of opportunity was going by quickly, so I darted out into the street and He literally had to shut me down, He closed some doors so to make it impossible for me to get into school, still trying to do it my own way I tried to force my way in.. and how many know that never works.. Ever tried to make something work for yourself when God was saying… NO!
When we got home I chastised my 5 year old son out of my anger that he had disobeyed me… how much more would God be well to chastise me.. Lord forgive me for not waiting for my right of way!
The answer my son gave me when I asked him what caused him not to listen was… I didn’t hear you answer! When you don’t hear me answer it does not mean GO!