This past weekend, on Easter Sunday, My oldest daughter Angel had her Second liver transplant! It was quite a success and an even greater victory.
I am so proud of my sweet girl! She pulled through it like a soldier. Many of you who know my story about Angel and I, it’s goes far back.. She was born to me at the ripe age of 17, only 5 months before I turned 18. She was born with a liver disease called biliary atresia, I didn’t grow up in the most functional house there is and I had not learned the power of responsibility!
This, my first baby was taken away and given to her father, and I take all the blame for our joint custody!
I have never not once stopped loving Angel and I would have never given her up in a million years no matter how hard it could have gotten.. She’s mind and there’s no changing that.. 2 weeks overdue, my look alike, born with no medication at all.. completely natural.. My sweet Angel!
I tried so long and so many times to find her she was moved so many times by her dad and when I took deputy sheriff’s with me to enforce my rights I was turned down many times.. I kept pushing through many times wanting to give up! This time when I saw her, I felt like she wanted me there, I felt like there was a connection even though there is another mother in the picture whom through all the moving around away from me was with her.. Much of it was my fault but I can not leave her father faultless either..
I will only take my own blame however!
When we have children.. Do we realize it’s just like marriage!! It’s for better or worst, it means sacrifice and there’s no way we get out of it til death do us part.
I saw her there in all that pain and my heart melted, after all what parent wants to see her child in pain, what parents wants to see her child suffering. I wanted to be in her place, I wanted to encourage her, I wanted her to know that I was there for her no matter what and if I could have been in her place in a split second I would trade with her, but we were so glad about the recovery..it has been quite speedy and for that I am thankful!
When I got back home I looked at my children, my precious other two.. I had prayed for them.. Lord knows I had.. I wanted to give my husband a son, since I thought he was the greatest guy on the planet from the time we met, and I wanted to have a chance to get back the time I lost with my precious Angel.. Time.. Let me tell you.. anything else can be replenished or replaced, if I drop my favorite vase, there’s nothing to it, I will get over it and guess what I can even buy another one sometimes exactly like it.. Things are just that things.. even if I lose my wallet, which I have several times and all the money is gone, which thankfully it never has been… More money can be made, I can order more credit cards after canceling the one’s I had…. even a job, as much as some of us love our jobs, if today or tomorrow you are let go there’s still hope you can get another.. but time! That’s a hard one.. because once it’s past… it’s gone.. and you will never be able to get it back no matter how hard you try!
The time I missed with Angel can never be replaced and I knew that.. I choose to see God in this and will not be overwhelmed by this time and season.. I realized something.. Life … it’s worth living in every moment.. And everything can be seen as either a hellish experience or a heavenly one..
With the time I have with my little young children…. I have to confess I have not been faithful with what has been given.. I stopped doing circle time with them I stopped treating them like they mean more to me than writing in my journal or doing a whole bunch of things.. I stopped wanting to run around the house with them and play cards with them… I just sit them in front of the television because I’m too busy, I’ve got to take a phone call or do something else… but we must remember in all things that time…. it is the only thing that can never be gotten back.. although every thing else can!