Tonight I restarted a book I had began years ago, it was referred to me by a great woman who had been in a bible study for mothers of young children with me when my daughter was no more than months old, and my son was barely 2.
I was in a very rough time in my life needless to say as a stay at home mom with them. I seemed to wish for another season constantly.
This book bought a lot of perspective that I would have otherwise not have seen.
“Man’s search for meaning”
It is a great story, unfortunately I never finished it. As I began to read it, that gut wrenching feeling came back.. Of how ungrateful I had been. There is a certain perspective you hold when you think of the life of someone who is in a worst state.. Because trust me… there is always someone who is.. “Worst off than You” … So be grateful..
I sat here tonight listening to the doors slamming all around me, in the apartment across from mine, the mexican couple love to slam doors, in the apartment over my head the asian family loves to stump and in the apartment adjacent to mine there is a couple who has 4-5 children and they love to make noise on the wall over night as I sleep and I struggle to find a place of contentment, that happy medium where there is true joy. Coming from living in the luxury of houses and no neighbors “taking my parking spot” it’s a pretty big shift not only for my children, but for me.. Many times we use white noise and play sweet music to fall to sleep comfortably!
However, when I picked up this book I immediately sobered up and became repent-ful for my ingratitude, for my complaining and murmuring.. Just a little while ago I was in my bedroom and I heard some noise again on the other side of the wall shaking my head I rushed out of the room..
Then I picked up this book.. I didn’t get very far until I was very thankful for what I have..
The author was telling a story of concentration camp.. He was forcibly taken from his home, his identity was taken from him, he was in a place where there was no privacy, there was no freedom and all the time he watched people go to the “gas chamber” or be brutally murdered. I thought … Well, my goodness, it certainly isn’t that bad.. In the story I read that it was a daily struggle for if they were even going to eat. Imagine that, having to live on someone elses’ watch, I mean that literally, people that were not trying to be nice to you at all.. This is not a shelter where you just might have your identity stolen, it was taken and there was no way of getting it back, this was not like living on the street, that would imply freedom… This was a place I doubt any person ever wants to wind up.. Yet, he watches as people just give up hope while others hold on to little memories of their family and the hope of maybe seeing them again one day.
I thought it was intriguing how we complain if our text message takes too long to go through or our internet service takes too long to come up and God forbid the cable go down for a couple of hours.. and we can’t access all of our 200 channels or more.. Let me give you a small wake up call as we celebrate this season.. It is all because of Jesus, that baby in that manger that many of us are not in our own prisons.. You know the prisons, not the one’s that mean we can’t see the break of day, but we can’t enjoy it, we spend time complaining in despair about something that will change next month, we spend so much time letting depression take away months of our lives when we don’t even realize there are women who have sick children and sit in a hospital with children helpless to heal them.We live in a society.. that every thing is seemingly fast paced and we want it all to be free and quick.. if not we have an issue.. But the truth is, we ought to realize with all that is going on, even if it’s pretty bad.. it could always be so much worst!