When I was a child!!!

Well, that time of the year has come upon us again!
The holiday season is well underway… and next year we will be celebrating Thanksgiving 2014..

I will be transparent and vulnerable and open myself up with you all and share.. it’s not my favorite season.
It has nothing to do with my upbringing.. I know most people say… “When I was a child our holidays were so awful I learned to hate them when I became an adult” But the exact opposite is true for me..

When I was a child.. My mother made every holiday season… I remember right around this time she would have the house filled with all sorts of turkey and decorations and she would be right on the heels of putting up the Christmas tree!

She loved this time of the year so much on Thanksgiving we would normally always be with family, so she would have the turkey and home made dressing ready with the cranberry sauce and all the pumpkin pie by noon.. This has happened every year of my childhood.. there is not one that I could remember we did not celebrate.. And Christmas.. Oh our house was filled with all the Stevie Wonder Christmas albums.. (Am I giving away my age) LOL, she loved the Christmas cheer and then ushering in a new year..

But since she died I have lost all desire to celebrate..

Although when I was a child that was the coolest thing, it felt so magical. It was as though there was always this anticipation to know what was under the tree for me.. She would always wrap up tons of gifts and hide them in her closet, we knew the hiding spot she chose more often than not so sometimes we would sneak a peek at what she had gotten us..

Now that I am an adult.. It honestly has become nerve wracking thinking about all the money people spend on toys and games each year during this time.. Since I’ve never been a great gift buying person.. Well, I couldn’t really do it like she did.. Mom would be wise and start buying the gifts early, it was as if she knew just what she was going for and many times I remember standing in lines at the Salvation Army and getting boxes filled with clothes and other things we may need or just want.. Yet even though we were a struggling family… Mama still held it down every time and we never had a clue how hard it was for her.

This year as I go into the Holiday season knowing that my daughter will be celebrating her 7th birthday On Thanksgiving.. I think about all the rush and hassle of the season and my heart melts when I think about mama.. One of these days…. Just one of these days…..

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